Gymnasts dazzle spectators by defying the laws of gravity, making the impossible look easy. But, who are they beneath the glitter, sparkles and chalk dust? Here are the top 10 ways to spot the mystical and majestic creatures outside of their natural habit (aka the gym).

 

1. Height

 

More often than not, height is a dead giveaway. 93.8746% of gymnasts are a good 4- to 8-inches shorter than your average human.

"OMG I knew we were short just not this short!!! #mindblown" — Aly Raisman
Photo credit: @Aly_Raisman/Twitter


2. Physique

 

From an early age, gymnasts indubitably acquire impressive physiques. We’re talking 24-pack abs at 8-years-old that put professional body builders to shame. Puny humans…
 

3. Presence of Magnesium Carbonate Residue

 

Another telltale sign of a gymnast is the presence of mysterious white markings on their skin. No, they aren’t ashy or suffer from dry skin. It’s chalk.
 

 

4. Coiffure

 

There appears to be slight variation in the styling of a gymnasts’ mane. The slicked-back ponytail with glitter is a staple in their hair styling, but there’s also the slicked-back bun with scrunchie or bow (and glitter), the slicked-back “messy” bun (with glitter), the slicked-back pony/bun/messy bun with a side part (and glitter)… I think you get the point. Gymnasts use a lot of gel and hair spray. Did I forget to mention glitter?

5. Presence of brace, bruises, rips, burns, casts, or scars

 

Gymnasts always seem to be sporting some kind of orthopedic hardware or battle scar. Throughout their careers, they accumulate more injuries than a crash test dummy. 

 

6. Varying social interactions 

 

Gymnasts seem to be highly sociable creatures but, only when they are in groups of their own species. Their social interactions with non-gymnasts have a tendency to be awkward — painfully awkward. What could these marvelous, awe-inspiring supreme beings have in common with someone “normal”? Foolish mortals.

7. Wardrobe

 

Open the closet of any gymnast across the world, and you will most likely find the exact same things. SOFFE shorts in any and/or every color of the rainbow as well as a multitude of shirts and hoodies from various competitions are the quintessential items in every gymnasts’ wardrobe.  (Note: “Swishy” warm-ups, and jackets with rhinestones may or may not also be present.)

 

 

8. Multilingual

 

If you happen to run into a gaggle of gymnasts in mid-conversation and become completely lost by what they’re saying, don’t fret! Gymnasts are fluent in another language: Yurchenko, Shaposhnikova,  Shushanova, Rufolva, Korbut, Prodonova, Comaneci, Tkatchev, Jaegar, Gienger, Popa, Markelov… Just face it: you’ll never understand. 

 

9. Stage fright

One of the most alluring characteristics of gymnasts is their ability to captivate audiences with highly dangerous, death-defying acrobatics— all while wearing a measly amount of some stretchy fabric. However, when asked to simply speak in front of a crowd, or even just a small classroom of their peers, most gymnasts would rather choose death.

Makes sense right?

 

10. Peculiar Noises

 

Normal people may or may not crack their fingers. Gymnasts crack their necks, shoulders, elbows, ankles, knees, hips, backs, wrists and toes.

BONUS: Single-track Minded

If you happen to be fortuitous enough to be in English class with a gymnast, you will notice a trend. Almost every paper this fabled creature writes is somehow related to or about gymnastics. They apparently have only one thing on their minds.

 

If you’re out on any given night past 7 p.m. and you see a pint-sized, meatball of muscle, covered in a strange white substance, with slicked-back hair, speaking a mix of English and a foreign language, all while wearing SOFFE shorts and a jacket of rhinestones, you may have just survived a close encounter with the mythical and legendary creature: the gymnast.

 

You can take the gymnast out of the gym,
but you can’t take the gym out of the gymnast.